Monday, February 7, 2011

title: midweek post number two subtitle: don't go thinking like this is a regular thing

really there are three things to discuss here:

1. comment response because i try to give back to the readership and all that
2. npr article (yes you read that correctly)
3. wikipedia


1. the comment

the blog got a comment last week regarding the dude's choise of a green wedding topper. commenter "anonymous" asked some pertinent questions which i will do my best to answer with a healthy blend of cynicism and disgust. actually if i were reading a bachelor blog i would most certainly comment as "anonymous," so this commenter has my immediate respect. i try to be as anonymous as possible while writing the stupid thing, so i can commiserate.

anyways, commenter anonymous noticed that the junk in alli's trunk may have been a motivating factor in the selection of the smallest "cake" (cake topper) ever created. it was really more like a half-size tiered cupcake which is why i am convinced it was a cake topper.

commenter anonymous says "do you think the producers chose a small cake to show sensitivity towards this [junk in trunk] or should they have opted instead for a larger dessert(read: confiscated the entire wedding cake) to reinforce that in fact the bachelor will be undeterred (unlike her previous bf) based on the junk:trunk ratio?"

well let me tell you what i think, anonymous. i think they only sent one intern downstairs from the gigantic ugly suite, so he couldn't manage to steal more than the cake topper. it would have been quite a sight to see a sole intern scampering up the stairs with a full-size wedding cake, and i am certain that would have captured more attention.

i do appreciate the idea of junk size manipulation via pastry, though. commenter anonymous and i will keep our eyes open for additional instances of food presented to worthington kilbourne alumna alli travis and let you people know.


2. the npr article

npr wrote an article about the bachelor. i feel that this is somewhat newsworthy in itself and i will explain why in a moment. if you should so wish to subject yourself to the horror, here is the article. i don't care enough about this to add a real link so you're just going to have to copy and paste: http://www.npr.org/blogs/monkeysee/2011/02/01/133402141/the-bachelor-is-science-fiction-a-crackpot-theory-you-can-get-behind

first, this brings rise to my opinion of the average npr consumer as one who decries the rise of modern mass media and subsequent downfall of human civility and culture while simultaneously tuning in to abc on monday nights to watch crappy television. although the comments are not bad, i bet there are a lot of other people reading npr on their ipads while eating soy-based products who are really angry that npr just bashed their favorite television program. i say this at the risk of horrific hypocrisy because i sometimes listen to npr and i clearly watch the bachelor, but i do both against my will. also i find ira glass's voice nearly as annoying as the bachelor dude's voice, i'm sorry. i like this american life but i cannot stand ira glass. did you know he is like 50? he sounds like he's 25.

it was a pretty funny article. it was sent to me by blog reader mollie whose name i will add to the roster of contributors which i believe now numbers like five or something.


3.wikipedia

i wanted to know how many episodes remain in the season so that i can find out when i get my tuesday nights back (yeah, tuesday, i watch it on hulu a day after, remember?). i discovered there are ten episodes which means we are only halfway through, which is grossly disappointing. i suspect the show will continue to decline in quality due to decreased number of girls to make fun of, and this is no good.

that is bad news, but i have worse news as well. on the wikipedia page there is a detailed chart of the bachelor show which explains exactly when and how each girl was voted off the show. it's unbelievable. here, check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bachelor_(season_15).

who makes this? i can tell you that i spend far too much time watching the show, even with my copious fast forwarding, and then i waste even more time and finger fatigue typing this crap up. i refuse to codify my thoughts into a chart, no way, that is not happening.

also, far be it from me to criticize a visualization of the bachelor, but the chart is really bad. i see episode 1 has red, which means eliminated. then i see no more red, i see blue, blue now means eliminated. when did that happen? why did that happen? if you are eliminated you should get the red box of shame. also, i don't care if the girls went on a group date or whatever, i just want to know two things: were they eliminated, and if so, did they cry after the rose ceremony? that tells me which episodes will make me laugh. if i hadn't watched any episodes i would go straight to the ones where the girls cried and watch the last 5 minutes to see the tears flow. if abc made a show titled "dumb girls crying after going on terrible reality shows and getting rejected" i would absolutely watch that.

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